Fleas and Japanese Game Shows

Hello Folks!

Well, these last few days have been interesting to say the least. I've been touring the Pacific Northwest from the slightly squashed back seat (except for those moments of car sickness when my dearest darling Dad gave up the passenger seat to humor his ailing daughter) of a firetruck-red PT Cruiser. So far I've stayed in a mountain lodge resort on Mount Hood, the Embassy Suites in the Historic Waterfront District of Portland, and Crest Trail Lodge in Packwood, Washington. I cannot for the life of me remember the name Packwood. I must have asked my Mom "Where are we, darn it?" eight times tonight. "Parkland, Sackwood?" Today we pulled off the highway at the foot of Mount St. Helens and took a little walk down the "wildlife-watching" trail. It was beautiful, we were enchanted. Then, suddenly, without warning, we were attacked by vicious plants. I broke out in hives. The only wildlife we encountered other than a dead mouse were insects and arachnids. I broke out in hives (did I mention that?).
My skin is still tingling.
My dad is now 'scraping the dried on spiderwebs off [his] face'.
I think I have a tick in my scalp.
Now we are in Parkwood--darn it, Packwood.
Oh dear. Never in all my days could I have imagined myself in this place. Can you spell 'Hick town'? 'Podunkville'? Sure it's interesting to visit, but my heart aches for the poor people who live here. It makes me appreciate Albuquerque a bit more. Alright, well, Ninja Warrior is calling my name (see what a devastating affect Packwood is having on my poor family?) I hope none of you know the Japanese game show I'm referring to. Goodnight for now.