Heart-Throbs of the Mortal and The Immortal

I have thirty-five minutes to write before I have to teach a piano lesson, so, here we go…

Okay, boys (if there are any boys reading this), just as a heads-up, the context of the following paragraph may be highly feminine. I have no idea how the male mind works and if it has the same sort of thought digressions as the female mind, but even if it doesn’t (and you end up without a clue as to what I'm talking about) there will something for you to get out of this post, so hang in there. Now that I’ve disconcerted you all, I’ll begin.

Well, last night—actually, we must go back before that—About two weeks ago I became re-obsessed with a movie that I love. While watching this movie (and it’s sequel and it’s sequel’s sequel) a certain someone stirred the sleeping butterflies in my stomach. Last night I was watching as many videos of this certain someone as I could find on youtube, and, sigh, I fell head-over-heels in love. (Does this sort of thing happen to males? Or is it just the unfortunate females that have to deal with these ridiculous crushes? I really want to know.)
It is very upsetting for me when I fall for someone who doesn’t know I exist, wouldn’t care if he did (know I existed), doesn’t share my same morals, and is full of himself. Why, you ask, am I giving this person the time of the day? Good question. But anyways, I was talking to God last night—
Let me insert something here. Over the past few months I completely forgot that I can talk to God. Sure I pray to Him often, but I haven’t been talking to Him, and our relationship has been suffering because of it. I don’t have to ask, or thank, or praise God every time I open my mouth to pray to Him, I can just tell Him how I’m feeling, what I’m thinking, or wait for Him to talk back to me. I rediscovered this method of communication last night, and I am very excited. I’m now chewing His ear off. Anyways, back to the main point—
(I was talking to God last night) and I was telling Him about this love that I had and how it was making my heart hurt and how I felt idiotic for being in “love” (I realize now, in the revealing, confusion-clearing light of day, that it wasn’t love but idolization.). Goodness, but it really does hurt, doesn’t it? Weird. It sound's laughable now, but it wasn't during the time... So I was telling Him all this, and, instead of laughing at me, He talked back.
“Hayley,” He said, “I know how you feel. I love [--this certain someone--] in the same way you do. [--This certain someone--] doesn’t believe I exist. He doesn’t care I exist. His morals are in stark contrast to mine and his sins separate us. However, unlike you, Hayley, I created this young man. I died for this young man. I planned out each day of his illustrious life.
I love him far more than you love him.
But he does not love Me.
And My heart hurts as well.”

My movie-star isn’t the only one guilty of causing God this pain.
Augh.
Love God. Love movie-stars, but don’t love them in that way--love them with a Christ-like love.
(Hopefully I didn’t totally loose all you males. Sorry if I did.)
The end.

To Die and Then To Live

What on earth will it be like to die? To go into God’s presence? I know that thought kind of flits through our minds regularly, but have any of us really contemplated what that moment will be like? I know I haven’t grasped it. To be me—the same me that’s sitting here now with or without my physical body (whether I have it at our meeting or not depends on whether I’m still alive when Christ comes back, but, in any case, I’ll have it eventually)—and to be standing before my God and King. I don’t really think about it being me that goes up to heaven. In my mind I can see someone that is supposed to be me up there singing, walking, praising, laughing, dancing, doing what we’ll do in heaven, but it’s hard to really imagine myself there. I just imagine myself as a shadow of me. But no way am I going to be a shadow. I’ll be more of myself than I’ve ever been before. I’ll have a physical body. (Wait--that sounded weird. What I meant to say was, I'll have a physical body in heaven just like I had one on earth--but it will be better. Coolio.)
“What is sown is perishable, what is raised is imperishable…” 1 Corinthians 15:42.
Our souls were never perishable, so Paul must be speaking of our bodies. There are many other verses that confirm our bodies will rise (“Your dead shall live, their bodies shall rise.” Isaiah 26:19. We wait for “the redemption of our bodies…” Romans 8:23)

Why don’t we think about heaven more? About coming into God’s presence? That’s what life is ultimately all about. We are to live to glorify God so that when we enter His presence He will tell us “well done”. That is the climax of our earthly life. The peak, the pinnacle, the culmination of every moment we have lived. I am going to pray today that I might be given greater understanding of the life that this life is all about. We’re so focused about “now” that we forget how someday “now” will be swallowed up in heaven. I’m not saying that today and this life don’t matter, because obviously they do. I’m just saying that we need to “fix our eyes on what is ahead.”

That is all. I wish I knew some cool Latin phrase to say “that is all.” Ah, well.

A Zealous Flurry

Well, I had a thought and I wanted to get it out there before I became dispassionate. I was just at my girls Bible study, which lately has just been a lot of arguing (excuse me, “discussion”) about nitty gritty things (whether religious, political, or whatever). Today we argued—discussed—homosexuality and being a Christian. We went around and around and while it wasn’t all bad (I think I understand a few people more and know what I want to focus on now--this idea will eventually be the point of this blog, if I ever get around to it) there were some tears and bad feelings all around.
What I got out of the whole ordeal was this:
It doesn’t really matter what I think about another person—how I judge them in my heart—because ultimately, I’m human and therefore completely inadequate for that sort of thing. I need to leave that whole spectrum to God and take my attention away from others and what they do wrong and how I can fix them and I need to focus on myself.
I know it's cliché, but:
I can’t change anyone else. I can only change me. And, because this is my life, my job in this life is to change my life (I’m so articulately suave tonight). I can’t affect someone else’s life in a positive manner unless I have been changed by Christ.
So, I need to get off my high horse, stop being arrogant and stop looking for arguments (because I’m always the smartest one in the group, yes I am, you’d better believe it) and pray for humility and for the Holy Spirit to work in my life. I need to produce fruit so that people will see and glorify my King.

That’s all. I wrote this in a zealous flurry, so I hope that it makes sense. Sorry that I’ve been so off topic for my last couple of blogs. I’m going to try and remedy that.

Sheesh.

Marathons and Uncomplicated Points!

Well, don't I just feel like a little sticky wad on the bottom of a shoe for leaving you all without explanation for such a length of time. Let me express my sincerest apologies.
I am sorry.
Let me tell you a few good reasons why I have been so dreadfully absent (yay, points!)

1.) My computer has a virus and has been down for the past week or two.
2.) I'm stinkin' busy.
3.) I just haven't felt like writing.
4.) I've been obsessed with Lord of the Rings lately (this happens annually) and have been watching every bit of Lord of the Ring material I can get my hands on.

There you go. Now, let me catch you all up on the dreadfully exciting events of the most recent weeks of my life (more points!)

1.) I ran a marathon. My legs cramped up at mile 22 and I couldn't run--think charlie-horse, oh, dear--so I had to walk the last 4.2 miles. For some reason I got all emotional and when I got to an intersection in the road--this was a big road (Central for all you Albuquerque folk) and it was completely closed down--I had to ask the policeman which direction to go and he laughed at me. And I cried. Ho-hum. I wasn't even sad, I guess just exhaused. It was weird

2.) I am totally kicking a sin I have been struggle for a long time with in the butt. It's very exciting. God has been helping me immensely.

3.) I have been asked to star in an upcoming film alongside Elisha Wood and this very cute Scottish boy I saw in a movie once but never looked up his name... (No, honestly, I'd prefer the Scottish boy, I'm just a little Lord of the Rings-crazy right now. Anyways, Elisha is probably too short. Most boys are too short. Grow boys, grow! Ah, well.)

4.) I just lied and within a few moments my falsehood will be plastered on the internet for the world to see.

5.) I'm much too tired for such nonsense and must go to bed before I say any more stupid things.