I leave in four days. I still have to pack three bags (and maybe my mom will let me stuff a few more things in her carry-on. That would be nice.). I need to spend more time understanding the strange and slightly over-my-head world of tuberculosis (wow! I spelled it right!) and foreign healthcare so that I can sound intelligent during our summer reading discussions. What is the conservative view on healthcare? Where can I find it? If I do find it, will I agree with it? Is it bad if I don’t agree with it entirely? Because it seems like what they were doing in Haiti was right. Good. Godly.
Tiana is gone. Tiana lives in a dorm. So does Faith. I will become a partner-in-dorm-life very soon. The thought is slightly depressing. And then exciting. Will everyone get athlete’s foot? I can’t stand watching people spit after brushing their teeth. I can’t stand it. Will I have time to be completely by myself? I really want the whole piece of chocolate cake, but I must not eat the whole piece of chocolate cake. I am mad at myself. I am frustrated. I am confused. I am comforted. I am aware that there are much bigger things—really—even though I am not entirely convinced.
I have now determined that it’s not just teenagers whose minds are so incredibly convoluted. That’s giving us too much credit—or too much blameworthiness (I bet you didn’t know that blameworthiness was a word). Life doesn’t get clearer—or easier—when you get older. Actually, I have the sinking suspicion that it just gets foggier and a little steeper.
I have a debit card. I have too many accounts. Too many pins. Too many passwords and usernames. I am old. Ancient. Positively medieval. Alice in Wonderland looks like it’s going to be too weird for me.
That’s all. Actually, that last sentence was a lie. There is very much more trapped within my head. This is just a sampler.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
A Party and Sentimental Feelings
So yesterday I had my graduation/goodbye party. It was wonderful. My family worked very hard to make it so. Everything was arranged to perfection. There were bins for recycling, there were little twinkling lights, there were four extra tins of homemade enchiladas—visible proof of my family’s love for me. There was going to be a whole tray left of Ghirardelli brownies, but then my dog got to them. Now there is only half a tray of Ghirardelli brownies. But so is life…
Many of the people who I love and care for were there. And many of those who live far away sent beautiful letters (as my little sister requested so that she could create the sweetest scrapbook I’ve ever seen). I just want to express how blessed I feel. How very blessed I am. Thank you, God, for these people that you’ve given me—for these lives that You’ve intertwined with mine. Thank you.
Thank you, my spectacular friends. Thank you, my wonderful family. I love you.
The pieces are falling into place and in less than two and half weeks I’ll be headed to Grantham, Pennsylvania to try my hand at college life—ah! My blogs are about to get a whole lot more interesting…
Many of the people who I love and care for were there. And many of those who live far away sent beautiful letters (as my little sister requested so that she could create the sweetest scrapbook I’ve ever seen). I just want to express how blessed I feel. How very blessed I am. Thank you, God, for these people that you’ve given me—for these lives that You’ve intertwined with mine. Thank you.
Thank you, my spectacular friends. Thank you, my wonderful family. I love you.
The pieces are falling into place and in less than two and half weeks I’ll be headed to Grantham, Pennsylvania to try my hand at college life—ah! My blogs are about to get a whole lot more interesting…
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Something Hard, Something Unexpected, Something Wonderful
Alright…prepare yourselves for a blog of epic proportions. This past week has been the strangest, most wonderful, weirdest, most confused bunch of days in my life. I feel like it’s lasted a month or two. I’ve talked to quite a few people about it, but I still haven’t gotten all my thoughts out—so now I will write to you. Let me begin at the beginning.
Last Saturday (the 13th) Hannah and I got on a plane and flew to San Pedro Sula, Honduras for a mission trip. I have to admit that for the first day or two I really didn’t want to be there. It was tough to see the things we saw and do the thing we did; I was disgusted with myself for this selfish behavior and also for the way I doubted God.
Then, on Monday when we did our first day of vacation Bible school with the kids at the state orphanage, Nueva Esperanza, I really started to enjoy what we were doing. I began to truly love the kids. I began to love my team (including our translators and bus driver). On Tuesday we took our little bus up to a new orphanage/school and had lunch with the kids there before we began work on digging a ditch in the hard clay (I still have the blisters to prove how hard I worked. I had fun. Maybe I’ll forget about college and dig ditches for a living. Maybe.).
That night we--the team and the translators—about eighteen of us in all--slept in the mission house provided by the orphanage. At 4:30 in the morning a masked, armed man came into the room Hannah and I were sleeping in with five other girls. He was in the room for about a half an hour. He had us give him our money, and then he rummaged through our stuff. He molested a girl. When we had the chance to run, we took it and woke up the rest of the house (which had stayed asleep for the entire event). One of the translators actually caught the man and grappled with him, and as a result was shot in the toe.
The day was full to the brim with waiting. Waiting for everyone to pack up. Waiting for the police. Waiting at the hospital. Waiting at the police station. Waiting for lunch. Waiting to check back in to the hotel room. We waited with mixed feelings of sadness and happiness at the thought of being sent home three days early (they flew us all home Thursday instead of Saturday).
If it sounds like a rough day, that’s because it was (I’m not going to lie), but that doesn’t mean that God was missing from a single part of it or that we were miserable for all of it. Because He wasn’t and we weren’t. During the day, in the days following, and even now I’m still looking back and finding new evidences of God’s presence in the experience.
He blessed every single one of us with incredible strength and peace (even in the presence of our enemies). He gave all of us joy and laughter (and stupid jokes). He proved to me once and for all that I truly do trust Him fully and believe wholly in Him. He gave me seventeen new friends (a few of whom I now feel like I’ve known for years and wouldn’t give up their friendships for the world). He drew all of us nearer to Him. He gave us a powerful testimony so that we may continue the work that we started: saving souls. He even gave us hope that we might get to return and finish what we left so incomplete. (As an added plus, Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife were praying for us personally. I just thought that was kind of neat.)
There were so many other things that He did—so many things that could have gone wrong or been worse. As someone said in an email to the team: “God allowed it to happen, but with very clear boundaries. This far and no farther...just as the Lord holds back the oceans from crossing too far over the shore. Nothing happens to God's children without God's permission.” It’s very true. I can vouch for it because I saw it with my own eyes.
There’s a bit more to this strange week that I don’t feel like talking about just yet—but it’s a good thing, I promise. It has been a bizarre week. A weird and wonderful week—to say the least.
Anyways…that’s it. I’m no longer as young or as innocent as I once was. I’m no longer as blind. But I still have a lot of things to work through. I’m not emotionally scarred or anything, I’m just struggling with little things like selfishness and crankiness and a feeling of let-down-ness and what-to-do-next-ness. I came off the mountaintop and now I’m in the valley (but don’t let me deceive you, it’s not completely dark down here and there’s company—God works here just as he does up there).
As further proof of God’s goodness, He put it on my heart before we left to memorize Psalm 23. I did, and it was (and still is) a comfort to have it hidden in my heart. Before I write it out here for you to read, let me just say:
Don’t forget that Jesus has overcome the world. Don’t forget that in Him we are more than conquerors. Don’t forget that if we have Jesus, we have no reason for fear. Don’t forget that He is good. Don’t forget that He is strong. Don’t forget that He is completely willing and totally capable of rescuing and protecting those He loves. Don’t forget that He loves us. And don’t back down.
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Last Saturday (the 13th) Hannah and I got on a plane and flew to San Pedro Sula, Honduras for a mission trip. I have to admit that for the first day or two I really didn’t want to be there. It was tough to see the things we saw and do the thing we did; I was disgusted with myself for this selfish behavior and also for the way I doubted God.
Then, on Monday when we did our first day of vacation Bible school with the kids at the state orphanage, Nueva Esperanza, I really started to enjoy what we were doing. I began to truly love the kids. I began to love my team (including our translators and bus driver). On Tuesday we took our little bus up to a new orphanage/school and had lunch with the kids there before we began work on digging a ditch in the hard clay (I still have the blisters to prove how hard I worked. I had fun. Maybe I’ll forget about college and dig ditches for a living. Maybe.).
That night we--the team and the translators—about eighteen of us in all--slept in the mission house provided by the orphanage. At 4:30 in the morning a masked, armed man came into the room Hannah and I were sleeping in with five other girls. He was in the room for about a half an hour. He had us give him our money, and then he rummaged through our stuff. He molested a girl. When we had the chance to run, we took it and woke up the rest of the house (which had stayed asleep for the entire event). One of the translators actually caught the man and grappled with him, and as a result was shot in the toe.
The day was full to the brim with waiting. Waiting for everyone to pack up. Waiting for the police. Waiting at the hospital. Waiting at the police station. Waiting for lunch. Waiting to check back in to the hotel room. We waited with mixed feelings of sadness and happiness at the thought of being sent home three days early (they flew us all home Thursday instead of Saturday).
If it sounds like a rough day, that’s because it was (I’m not going to lie), but that doesn’t mean that God was missing from a single part of it or that we were miserable for all of it. Because He wasn’t and we weren’t. During the day, in the days following, and even now I’m still looking back and finding new evidences of God’s presence in the experience.
He blessed every single one of us with incredible strength and peace (even in the presence of our enemies). He gave all of us joy and laughter (and stupid jokes). He proved to me once and for all that I truly do trust Him fully and believe wholly in Him. He gave me seventeen new friends (a few of whom I now feel like I’ve known for years and wouldn’t give up their friendships for the world). He drew all of us nearer to Him. He gave us a powerful testimony so that we may continue the work that we started: saving souls. He even gave us hope that we might get to return and finish what we left so incomplete. (As an added plus, Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife were praying for us personally. I just thought that was kind of neat.)
There were so many other things that He did—so many things that could have gone wrong or been worse. As someone said in an email to the team: “God allowed it to happen, but with very clear boundaries. This far and no farther...just as the Lord holds back the oceans from crossing too far over the shore. Nothing happens to God's children without God's permission.” It’s very true. I can vouch for it because I saw it with my own eyes.
There’s a bit more to this strange week that I don’t feel like talking about just yet—but it’s a good thing, I promise. It has been a bizarre week. A weird and wonderful week—to say the least.
Anyways…that’s it. I’m no longer as young or as innocent as I once was. I’m no longer as blind. But I still have a lot of things to work through. I’m not emotionally scarred or anything, I’m just struggling with little things like selfishness and crankiness and a feeling of let-down-ness and what-to-do-next-ness. I came off the mountaintop and now I’m in the valley (but don’t let me deceive you, it’s not completely dark down here and there’s company—God works here just as he does up there).
As further proof of God’s goodness, He put it on my heart before we left to memorize Psalm 23. I did, and it was (and still is) a comfort to have it hidden in my heart. Before I write it out here for you to read, let me just say:
Don’t forget that Jesus has overcome the world. Don’t forget that in Him we are more than conquerors. Don’t forget that if we have Jesus, we have no reason for fear. Don’t forget that He is good. Don’t forget that He is strong. Don’t forget that He is completely willing and totally capable of rescuing and protecting those He loves. Don’t forget that He loves us. And don’t back down.
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
A Psalm
You are God and there is no other.
You are mightier than the oceans—
For you are their Master.
You blow on the waters and they surge and churn.
You are mightier than the storm—
For it is yours, the work of Your hands.
You stand in the thunder,
You surround yourself with the lightning,
The wind and the rain lash around You,
But You remain unmoved.
There is no place You have not seen.
You have viewed the deepest trench,
Smiled upon the farthest star,
Known the souls of men.
You have utterly known the souls of men,
And yet You love us.
You look on us with compassion and pity.
You look on us with strength and power
And are fully prepared to lift us from
The filth and decay that is in and around us.
You are holy;
We can never fully comprehend You,
And by this we find comfort.
I love You, LORD.
To You alone my praise is due.
I will sing of Your glory when I wake
And when I lie down,
When I walk and when I rest.
You are holy.
You are God and there is no other.
You are mightier than the oceans—
For you are their Master.
You blow on the waters and they surge and churn.
You are mightier than the storm—
For it is yours, the work of Your hands.
You stand in the thunder,
You surround yourself with the lightning,
The wind and the rain lash around You,
But You remain unmoved.
There is no place You have not seen.
You have viewed the deepest trench,
Smiled upon the farthest star,
Known the souls of men.
You have utterly known the souls of men,
And yet You love us.
You look on us with compassion and pity.
You look on us with strength and power
And are fully prepared to lift us from
The filth and decay that is in and around us.
You are holy;
We can never fully comprehend You,
And by this we find comfort.
I love You, LORD.
To You alone my praise is due.
I will sing of Your glory when I wake
And when I lie down,
When I walk and when I rest.
You are holy.
You are God and there is no other.
No, I Have Not Died
I don't consider this a real post, I just want to let you know that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, or died, or lost the use of my fingers, or anything like that. What has happened is this: I've been writing a book for some time now and recently I've really started writing seriously. So now when I feel the urge to write I go straight to writing my story rather than begin blogging. I'm also trying to finish up highschool (two days left!--yikes), and I'm working a little bit at a swim shop, and I'm going to a lot of graduation parties, and I've taken up the violin in addition to piano, and I've become quite the exercise-aholic... Anyways... I'll start blogging again soon. I promise. Have a great night!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
A Challenge
Hello.
So, despite the fact that lately there are moments in my life when I feel like a little, fuzzy bumblebee buzzing here and there and everywhere (and back again), and disregarding those nights when I crash into bed either too tired to snore or too exhausted to sleep (yes, this does happen, unfortunately), I have decided that these next few months will most likely be the least frantic months of the rest of my life.
This thought tends to scare me.
Although I have been incredibly busy (to my way of thinking) for the past while, I have also realized that I really have a great amount of time to myself.
I have a confession. It’s something you probably could have figured out (being the incredibly bright people that you are), but just in case you haven’t come to this conclusion regarding my character, I’ll let you in on a secret.
I really enjoy down time. I like to sit in my bright room with the windows open and listen to the birds and read or write or journal or blog. Quaint, am I not? And recently, I’ve begun to realize that I should spend more of this time talking with, learning about, and contemplating on God. So I’ve tried to do so. As a result, something cool has happened.
God has begun to bless my efforts. Actually, He began to bless them the very first night I sat down and gave Him more time than I usually did. Generally, I like to do my quiet time in the morning, before I do school work or any of the other things on my list, because I want to give my day over to Him straight away. I’ve done this for a few years, but recently I have been getting upset that I haven’t been moving forward in my relationship, and I’ve been wondering how to change that.
A few weeks ago I had an epiphany.
I give my mornings to God, but to whom do I give my afternoons and my evenings?
To me, I give them to me.
As a result of this enlightening reflection, I decided to try and have two more “quiet times” in my day. So, now when I finish my homework and have nothing really pressing on my mind, urging me to get up and get accomplishing, I have a second, slightly more contemplative time with God. He’s really using this time. It’s pretty exciting.
Now I’m working on having some quiet time right before I go to bed. I’ve got a couple of instructive, inspiring books that I’m going through and so I’ll read a chapter or two and then pray. This helps me to focus on “what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy" (Philippians 4:8)--which is a nice way to fall asleep.
In conclusion, I’ve realized that this is the time in my life when I have very little to worry about (though it doesn’t seem so at times) other than my relationship with Jesus Christ. Next year, once I’m in college, this free time will disappear. I know that I will always make time for Him, but that time might never be as free from distraction and pressing cares as this time is now. I must take advantage of the time that I have been given. I must seize the day.
Right now is a gift with a purpose. This is my time to draw near to Christ. I would be a complete fool to let it slip away.
Many of you are in the same boat. This is God’s time. Give Him what is His due. Squelch the misconception that we own our time. Our time is God’s. If we draw near to Him, he has promised to draw near to us. It follows that the more we draw near to Him, the more He will draw near to us.
He's ready to take us higher, to bring us deeper, to move us farther. Let's not keep Him waiting.
So, despite the fact that lately there are moments in my life when I feel like a little, fuzzy bumblebee buzzing here and there and everywhere (and back again), and disregarding those nights when I crash into bed either too tired to snore or too exhausted to sleep (yes, this does happen, unfortunately), I have decided that these next few months will most likely be the least frantic months of the rest of my life.
This thought tends to scare me.
Although I have been incredibly busy (to my way of thinking) for the past while, I have also realized that I really have a great amount of time to myself.
I have a confession. It’s something you probably could have figured out (being the incredibly bright people that you are), but just in case you haven’t come to this conclusion regarding my character, I’ll let you in on a secret.
I really enjoy down time. I like to sit in my bright room with the windows open and listen to the birds and read or write or journal or blog. Quaint, am I not? And recently, I’ve begun to realize that I should spend more of this time talking with, learning about, and contemplating on God. So I’ve tried to do so. As a result, something cool has happened.
God has begun to bless my efforts. Actually, He began to bless them the very first night I sat down and gave Him more time than I usually did. Generally, I like to do my quiet time in the morning, before I do school work or any of the other things on my list, because I want to give my day over to Him straight away. I’ve done this for a few years, but recently I have been getting upset that I haven’t been moving forward in my relationship, and I’ve been wondering how to change that.
A few weeks ago I had an epiphany.
I give my mornings to God, but to whom do I give my afternoons and my evenings?
To me, I give them to me.
As a result of this enlightening reflection, I decided to try and have two more “quiet times” in my day. So, now when I finish my homework and have nothing really pressing on my mind, urging me to get up and get accomplishing, I have a second, slightly more contemplative time with God. He’s really using this time. It’s pretty exciting.
Now I’m working on having some quiet time right before I go to bed. I’ve got a couple of instructive, inspiring books that I’m going through and so I’ll read a chapter or two and then pray. This helps me to focus on “what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy" (Philippians 4:8)--which is a nice way to fall asleep.
In conclusion, I’ve realized that this is the time in my life when I have very little to worry about (though it doesn’t seem so at times) other than my relationship with Jesus Christ. Next year, once I’m in college, this free time will disappear. I know that I will always make time for Him, but that time might never be as free from distraction and pressing cares as this time is now. I must take advantage of the time that I have been given. I must seize the day.
Right now is a gift with a purpose. This is my time to draw near to Christ. I would be a complete fool to let it slip away.
Many of you are in the same boat. This is God’s time. Give Him what is His due. Squelch the misconception that we own our time. Our time is God’s. If we draw near to Him, he has promised to draw near to us. It follows that the more we draw near to Him, the more He will draw near to us.
He's ready to take us higher, to bring us deeper, to move us farther. Let's not keep Him waiting.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Unity and Significance (and Steve Martin's Brother)
I went to Bible study the other night with very little expectations. I must admit that I haven't been getting a lot out of anything I do with my youth group lately (something, I realize, may be partly my fault). It’s kind of sad—but that’s not what I sat down to talk about.
So, at my study we’re going through The Truth Project, which is a series of videos basically asking us (Christians everywhere) to examine what we believe and determine why we believe it. This particular video was on the relationship between God and Man. It was all about oneness, intimate fellowship, and the mysterious union of the trinity and the church, and Christ and His children. I got a few things out of this video, but the thing that stuck with me the most was this:
The speaker (who looks like Steve Martin’s brother—this has absolutely nothing to do with what I was saying…) leaned close into the camera and asked with great solemnity (something he does quite well, unlike Steve Martin),
“What keeps us from unity?”
This is a rather heavy question, but its weightiness might be overlooked if the term unity isn’t further expounded on. Here’s what Jesus has to say about this word:
“…That all of them may be one, Father, just as You are in Me and I am in You. May they also be in Us so that the world may believe that You have sent Me. I have given them the glory that You gave Me, that they may be one as We are one: I in them and You in Me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent Me and have loved them even as You have loved Me.” John 17:21-23 (This whole chapter is an awesome one—just in case you’ve never read it before.)
Did you catch the astounding marvelous-ness of His meaning?
We’ve essentially been given a spot in the Trinity.
Now, I don’t mean that we’re gods or anything like that, but we’re invited into Him and He will be in us. This is what God desires, this is why Jesus came, this is what the Holy Spirit has accomplished.
Alright, now that we’ve got that down (if that can ever be “gotten down”), let me tell you how Mr. Martin answered his question of why we’re not taking full advantage of this mind-blowing-ly incredible gift of oneness with God. (I was on the edge of my seat for this one, because I’ve been wondering a great deal lately why there is such a gulf between me and Christ.)
He said,
“Our hunger to be significant keeps us from unity with God.”
Wow.
This significance thing has definitely been a huge part of my life for a long long while. And I know that it’s been a problem, but I just didn’t know how big.
I want to have people love me. I long for it. And when I’m not loved to a point that satisfies this craving, I’ll imagine it into being. Let me know if I’m wrong, but I think a lot of girls struggle with this problem, better known as day-dreaming.
Mr. Martin says that we were given this desire for significance, just as we were given a sexual desire. It is good when used as God intended it, but evil after being twisted by the world.
How do we turn this hunger into something God can be pleased with?
We must turn to Him, and allow ourselves to be fully satisfied with being significant to Him. Because, really, not being satisfied with our importance to God, and looking to quench our thirst elsewhere, isn’t only futile and idiotic, it’s so incredibly disrespectful and hateful to Christ.
Augh, so I know that this isn’t something that can be solved in a day, but the sooner resolved the better. We can comfort ourselves by knowing that this desire of ours (to comprehend and to take part in unity with Christ) is God’s desire as well. And with the two of us working together (and His strength being made perfect in our weakness), the odds for victory are pretty good.
So, at my study we’re going through The Truth Project, which is a series of videos basically asking us (Christians everywhere) to examine what we believe and determine why we believe it. This particular video was on the relationship between God and Man. It was all about oneness, intimate fellowship, and the mysterious union of the trinity and the church, and Christ and His children. I got a few things out of this video, but the thing that stuck with me the most was this:
The speaker (who looks like Steve Martin’s brother—this has absolutely nothing to do with what I was saying…) leaned close into the camera and asked with great solemnity (something he does quite well, unlike Steve Martin),
“What keeps us from unity?”
This is a rather heavy question, but its weightiness might be overlooked if the term unity isn’t further expounded on. Here’s what Jesus has to say about this word:
“…That all of them may be one, Father, just as You are in Me and I am in You. May they also be in Us so that the world may believe that You have sent Me. I have given them the glory that You gave Me, that they may be one as We are one: I in them and You in Me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent Me and have loved them even as You have loved Me.” John 17:21-23 (This whole chapter is an awesome one—just in case you’ve never read it before.)
Did you catch the astounding marvelous-ness of His meaning?
We’ve essentially been given a spot in the Trinity.
Now, I don’t mean that we’re gods or anything like that, but we’re invited into Him and He will be in us. This is what God desires, this is why Jesus came, this is what the Holy Spirit has accomplished.
Alright, now that we’ve got that down (if that can ever be “gotten down”), let me tell you how Mr. Martin answered his question of why we’re not taking full advantage of this mind-blowing-ly incredible gift of oneness with God. (I was on the edge of my seat for this one, because I’ve been wondering a great deal lately why there is such a gulf between me and Christ.)
He said,
“Our hunger to be significant keeps us from unity with God.”
Wow.
This significance thing has definitely been a huge part of my life for a long long while. And I know that it’s been a problem, but I just didn’t know how big.
I want to have people love me. I long for it. And when I’m not loved to a point that satisfies this craving, I’ll imagine it into being. Let me know if I’m wrong, but I think a lot of girls struggle with this problem, better known as day-dreaming.
Mr. Martin says that we were given this desire for significance, just as we were given a sexual desire. It is good when used as God intended it, but evil after being twisted by the world.
How do we turn this hunger into something God can be pleased with?
We must turn to Him, and allow ourselves to be fully satisfied with being significant to Him. Because, really, not being satisfied with our importance to God, and looking to quench our thirst elsewhere, isn’t only futile and idiotic, it’s so incredibly disrespectful and hateful to Christ.
Augh, so I know that this isn’t something that can be solved in a day, but the sooner resolved the better. We can comfort ourselves by knowing that this desire of ours (to comprehend and to take part in unity with Christ) is God’s desire as well. And with the two of us working together (and His strength being made perfect in our weakness), the odds for victory are pretty good.
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